Should I tell my niece her husband is cheating on her?

My daughter and her husband already saw her fiancee at the time kissing another girl and she married him any way. Now it's happening again. My nephew walked in on her husband with another woman, but no ones talking or telling her. I don't know what to do because this is my sisters daughter. I really don't want to get in the middle of any of it and I've been trying to talk my nephew into talking but I'm not even sure if I should be doing that. I'm scared my niece is going to get an STD or something.


Any advice would be greatly appreciated.



Talk to your sister. Telling your niece is not a good idea, because first she won't believe you, and when she realizes it's true (IF she does), she will resent you. It would be better coming from her mom.


Not logical, but common.




I would stay out of it. The messenger often gets shot.





If your ex-husband was able to keep cheating for 4 years without you getting any kind of a gut feeling that something's not right, he must be exceptionally (even pathologically) good at leading a double life. Most people give away their true character one way or another; you don't have to "walk in" on someone to know if they respect you and value you or not.




If it were me I would have to tell! Maybe she could forgive the kissing thing, and he probably fed her some line about being nervous about the wedding and needed to feel like he could still be attractive to other women BLAH< BLAH<BLAH!!! But now that they are married I think she really needs to know NOT just because of an STD but because its her husband and he should be faithful to his wife!




Why are those who are really concerned always the last ones to hear? This is a hard question: you shouldn't get involved in their marital affairs, but then again this is so mean to her. I'd talk to him first I think, and tell him everybody knows about his ways and you are about to tell your niece, unless he is man enough to tell her himself. Who knows they have a mutual arrangement to have lovers at the side?




No. You mind your own business and here is why: She knew he was unfaithful and married him anyway. She should be getting tested for STDS since they haven't been married long, they both could have picked something up long beforehand. What will happen is that you will tell her, she will forgive him and you will no longer be allowed to darken their doorstep (as they will put it). Not to mention the rest of the family will see you as a budinsky and a home wrecker of a different kind. Your treading dangerous waters on this one.




Your niece is your first priority. You should tell her what her husband is doing and then leave it alone. She is an adult if she decides to stay with him after she realizes what he is doing then that's her problem; you did your part. But you cannot stand by and let this happen. Talk to her and tell her what you know.




Not only should you tell her ASAP, but tell her with the people who also know about the cheating. Like your nephew. The more people she sees that *know* he's cheating on her, the more she'll believe you guys. You're her family; & she can't deny the truth from her family.





Good luck, & I'm sorry you've been put in this position.




tell her fast. she needs to know what she's dealing with. only then can she assess the situation and decide what to do about her marriage. i think if she finds out that you knew and didn't tell her she will be really hurt and feel like everyone is laughing behind her back. i am sure that you don't want to hurt her but if you really love her do it




Yes you need to tell her, as uncomfortable as it may be for you to get in the middle. She has a right to know, especially before children get involved, if she doesn't have any yet. Let her make an informed decision as to whether or not she wants to stay in the marriage.




Look at it this way:


This is your niece, she is related to you, blood for crying out loud. She needs to know what is going on. It would be different if it were some stranger or someone who isn't related but you need to tell her!! How would you feel if it were your daughter and she didn't know? Good luck!!




say nothing





I'm not kidding.





If you say something, this is going to EXPLODE in your face.





all those people who told you to tell her? I will bet you that NONE OF THEM are adults. I'll bet you that EVERY ONE OF THEM is still in their teenage years. Head in the clouds, not understanding psychology in the slightest degree.





see Mrs. G's answer? THAT is the thinking of an ADULT! You children who know nothing about real life...just wait. It's NOTHING like what you think it is.




Yes, wouldn't you want to know? She might be mad or not believe you, but at least the idea will be in her head and hopefully she'll realize that he's no good. Everyone handles these types of situations differently, but she needs to know like ASAP.




Talk to your neice. She will more than likely respect and listen to you over the other person. Tell her your worried for her, express your concerns. And let her know you are there for her! If I was in her position and my aunt knew something like that and didn't tell me, I'd be sooooo mad!




Well sometimes the truth hurts but ultimatley it is what you need to hear. I would not hesitate to tell someone but only because I would want to know. If I knew my friends were hiding something like that from me I would consider that a betrayal.




mind your own business. others know and by diffusion, she will hear of it all soon enuf. the poster who said you will be the one hated is right. if it comes from you in any way, you will be blamed.





mind your own business.




I would tell your sister and let her give her daughter the information. It's a lot easier to break down in front of your mother and you're more likely to take advice from a parent than anyone else.




Talk to your sister... and then the two of you can talk to your niece.





She needs to be told... how would you feel if your family knew that you were getting cheated on and did nothing?




You should get your nephew to tell her husband that he knows and give him a chance to come clean, then if the husband won't tell her he's cheating and tell her how you know he's cheating.




Put yourself in her shoes. Wouldn't you want to know? If she finds out you knew and didn't tell her she will be hurt even more.




Tell and don't get a child to do this! I would tell and what she does with it is her business but make sure the kids are safe!





Smooches




You should tell her she has a right to know. sometimes when we are in love we are blind to what that person is doing. If she does nothing after you tell her then its her lost.




Duh!!! YES!




I am very glad you mentioned the STD because that is what I was going to bring up when I saw your question. Not only can she get an STD but do you want to wait for her to find out after he gets some other woman pregnant and it is all the harder on her? She simply has to be told. What amazes me is that your nephew walked in on him and he did not get scared enough to admit it to her himself! That sure is arrogant. The fact is, she is going to find out eventually what kind of a man he is. Don't let years of her life pass by wasting her time with this man before she has a chance to be aware and do something about it. Don't let her get sick or die from whatever diseases he could be bringing home. Tell her....it is the right thing to do.




If its for real and no doubt that her husband is cheating. Then you could do a couple of things.


A) talk to him and tell him that everyone knows and give him a week say to tell his wife.





B) tell her, she will be mad and i bet she will take it out on you, "dont shoot the messenger" . However there are enough people who have seen this.





C) tell her in front of husband, again sparks may fly. but you have truth on your side.





D) tell your sister, her mum, let her break the news maybe with you there.


She may choose to stay with him and believe he wont do it again, thats her choice so be prepared for that.


I for one would like to know if i was being cheated on so i could end the relationship. I believe in trust, and unless they entered a relationship with certain rules that its ok to have outside relations, then she should know.




This is quite the predicament for you and I understand where you are coming from. I have 6 nieces and nephews and I would tell them in a heartbeat. Family always comes first no matter what and imagine yourself in the same situation and how you would feel if your niece knew and didn't tell you. I think it hurts even worse than the cheating to discover someone close to you knew and never told you. My nephew was faced with this a few years ago when he called my husband and said a female answered that wasn't me and he was scared to tell me, but the first thing he said was "you know I love you right" then he told me what happened. I was never angry at him for telling me and it actually prevented quite a heartache for me.