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He's married , I am in a relationship but both of us are extremely unhappy and stuck. His wife cheats on him constantly and my boyfriend acts like I dont exist- (I got nothing for my birthday, Christmas, anniversary, in fact he left me at Christmas) he spends most of his time at his parents Mon. thru-Sun, and he doesnt even sleep in the same room with me. We havent done anything with each other and have become very close friends--We know we are into each other, but we dont verbalize it. When he is on duty (a cop) and I am at work (nite auditor at a hotel) we spend almost our entire work schedule together. His partner has told me that he is practically in love with me and my feeling are mutual. I have NEVER done anything with a married man, EVER because of my ow morals and faith!


His partner has told me he is lookin for an apartment to rent but I dont want to be a home wrecker.


He is very flirty with me all the time...and I love him.


What do I do??


I am in a difficult situation-please dont tell me how wrong I am for fallin for a married man-I already know that.



sweetheart... you know its not right to get yourself involved with someone that is married... if you are unhappy u have to move on but not with someone that is already taken... u never know what is goin on in his head.. like you said his partner tells you all this.. not him.. he might back away from you and u will get hurt.. he might want to have a thing on the side to make him feel better, but he wont leave his wife, have you seen the movie "the family that prays"? if not, u should.. you will know exactly wat im talking about.. only difference is, in the movie they both are married.




It's your fault for staying with your crap boyfriend, and it's his fault for staying with his crap wife. Why don't you leave your boyfriend, wait for him to leave his cheating wife, and THEN you can be together. What's the rush? Better to involve just the two of you in a relationship than 4 people. Come on. And seriously... you can't really be COMPLAINING about your boyfriend if you are still dumb enough to be with him if he treats you wrong.




You are headed for a lot of trouble and heartache if you pursue this behavior. Stay away from this guy, he is married, it is wrong. If he has problems with his wife, that is his business, not yours, not your problem, he is MOST LIKELY lying to you about it anyway, he just wants to get you into bed. Think about it like this, WHY would you want to be with a guy who is like this? He is a pathetic loser.




you can always leave the live in boyfriend...but remember this he will never leave his wife...because if she is cheating and he is still around then what does that tell you....why do you say you are stuck....nobody is STUCK you can always get out if you are unhappy and he can always divorce his wife ....then why don';t you and your mom leave then.... there is never a situation that you cannot get out of




Well you are going to have to find a place for yourself and your mother. I am not sure how ill your mother is but if she is severly ill maybe you should put her in a home so she can have 24 hour care by professionals. If not, then you need to get a 2 bedroom apartment to share with your mother.




Tell the married man to get in touch with you when his divorce is finalized.





Break the lease to your apt and move somewhere else with your mom or wait til the lease is over and sign a lease without your boyfriend. You can't tell your bf to leave, if you are not happy YOU should leave.




well...the ONLY right thing to do is wait until you BOTH are OUT of relationships. Take this from a woman who was married to a police officer and was cheated on...that **** HURTS. Dont ever do that to another woman. I dont care WHAT he says about her. He could be lying to you about her, just like MINE was lying about me. No HONORABLE man sees another woman while he is married. Sorry...




first of all he is neglecting his duty and can be charged for that, not to mention have consequences at work - i.e. fired/counseled.





you are messing with a ticking time bomb. stay away from this guy and if you are in a relationship, end that before you step in to another one.





i wish i could express how serious i am about not getting involved with this guy.




Sounds like you're looking to replace your current boyfriend with anyone who will pay attention to you. You might be looking in the wrong places if you're thinking about a married man. Consider the wife's feelings, regardless of what he may say about her.




you both need to follow your hearts.....why live life unhappy????? but I think you both owe it to your other halves to tell them things are not working and break them off before moving forward with anything.....




well you both are stuck, but before you two become involved with eachother, he needs to end his marriage and you need to leave your pathetiic boyfriend. i think what is "happening" between you two could be a good thing. since you are both in a similar situation and both feel "stuck" you guys could be supporting eachother as to how your own situations should be handled. he could be the support you need to end your relationship with your boyfriend and you could help him realize he deserves a much better relationship with a woman who would give him respect and give him the strength to file for divorce. either way i think you two could have met to be the support system for eachother to take the next big step in life and make tough decisions. in the end of this mess, you never know, you two may be for eachother




If you already know how wrong you are for falling for a married man then when are you going to do the right thing and stop? If this cop is so unhappy with his cheating wife then why is he still with her? And please don't tell me it's "because of the kids" or "because a divorce would cost him dearly". etc., etc. He's looking for an affair on the side and if that's all you want to be then keep on doing what you're doing but you will certainly be sorry for putting yourself in that position. Sure he's looking for an apartment so the two of you can have your little love nest and he can have his affair. Wake up and smell the roses before you end up in a situation that is more than you care to handle. If he leaves his wife, files for divorce and ends up single again then you can renew your friendship with him and see where it goes. Why be the "other woman" when in fact, if you ever were to steal him away from his wife you would have to worry if he would find "another woman" to fill his needs. Quit playing with fire and setting yourself up for heartbreak.




Remember, I have been in your situation (with the sexes reversed) and let me give you some advice. First of all, get out of your relationship. You need your own place. What you have may be convenient, but is unhealthy.


Second, you are NOT in love with the cop. You may be infatuated with him, you may be extremely interested in him, you may want to jump his bones. but YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM! Remember that. You have not been around him long enough to form a deep love with him. Plus, he is taken. Don't make things worse for him and you by going to the next level.





You don't have a boyfriend. You are living with your ex who is now friendly to you because he has nothing better to do and you are convenient. Not much for a relationship.





Tell the cop to go home to his wife.





Tell your boyfriend to move somewhere else, if he moved in with you. If you moved in with him, move out!





Life is far too short for you to go through this crap.





Regards,


Dan


PS Why does he and his partner spend their whole shift at your hotel? Shouldn't they be on patrol or something?